Healing

Ups and downs attack me in ceaseless aggression as I try to deter the emotions by reading old journal entries.  The shock has warn off, as well as the denial of past events, thankfully with strength from God.

As my friend Sandra pointed out, "it may take me a while".  Extremely supportive friends and family, one in particular, are gently taking my hand and helping me over these challenges.  The healing has officially begun. 

With still things left to clean up, I sit in my living room, enjoying the temporary silence it offers me, and think of goals and dreams I was not able to fathom in the past.  Maybe I should skip the PCT this year and head over to CT to work on the AT.  Maybe a trip or two to Vegas with my friends.  Maybe take my cycling friends up on their offerings, or my mountaineering friends up on theirs.  There so many offerings of possibility before me at this time it is almost overwhelming.

I want to thank my Father who, in the past, was never there for me, nor himself, like he has been now as I am proud to be his son.  I want to thank my Mother who, in a rather tousled way, taught me there is love and healing after the storm.  I need to thank Elaine for sticking with me through my ups and downs, never questioning or judging, just offering astonishing support.  And my Amber, for loving her Daddy unconditionally through these impossibly trying times.